The Creation, WWRY style
by CrimsonSuspense
Summary: The Creation, as per Scaramouche and Galileo. Thanks to sundrynotes for the idea, and crayolaxsmiles for keeping me awake to write it. Please R R.


The creation, á la sundrynotes.

Haylz, my darling, thank you for giving me the idea. Also, loads of thank you's to CrayolaxSmiles, for keeping me in a good mood, my friends Megan and Alicia for texting me to keep me awake as I wrote this, and my computer for automatically saving it when there was a power cut the other night. Um. Please read and review, for it pleases me, in manner of seeing We Will Rock You after going cold turkey for about 5 months.

In the beginning, there was nothing. No light, no people, no animals. If there had been, then there would have been noise, but there was none. Therefore it was quiet.

Then, God spoke. Because he couldn't think of anything else to say, he said,

"Let there be light."

And there was light.

How good the light was.

And because there was light, God could see.

And God said,

"Ooooohhhh….." in manner of awed audience. Which, of course, he was.

Then God got excited, and said, "Let there be moon and stars, so that they twinkle in manner of glitter, which pleases me."

And there was twinkly moon and stars that glittered.

How good they were.

After a few days, God got bored of watching the light be light, and the moon and stars twinkle in manner of glitter. Poor God.

So God said, "Let there be sky and land and sea, so that I am no longer bored."

And there was sky and land and sea.

How good they were. (Is it just me, or is this getting a bit repetitive?)

But the world was still empty and quiet, in manner of empty church.

So God thought for a long time.

Then, he thought some more.

Then, after several days of creative thinking, and writing down ideas in lined notepad with pens of two colours, in manner of organised teacher, God had an idea.

God said, feeling very important, "Let there be people."

And he reached into his pencil case, marked 'God's pencilcase, keep off' in case he lost it, and pulled out a blob of blutack. And with care, and love, and a lot of cursing as he did so, created the first human. It had two arms, two legs, a head, a torso and a scowl.

"Let this be the first human." Said God, feeling excited. "Let it be kind, and thoughtful, and let it be happy."

The First Human sat on a rock, and scowled.

Then God looked at the first human. He decided it looked boring, so he rolled two small balls of blutack onto the First Human's chest.

"Let this be the First Woman." Said God, and clapped his hands.

The First Woman sat on a rock, and scowled.

"Let it walk and talk." Said God, who was impressed.

"Give me some clothes, you perverted Banker." Said the First Woman, scowling.

God gave the First Woman a pink skirt, a pink bikini top, and a pair of pink stilettos.

"Do I look like some kind of Gaga Girl?" Scowled the First Woman, and stomped off to find something to eat.

God was unimpressed, so he went to sleep. The First Woman curled up next to a pathetic fire, and cried herself to sleep, for she felt alone and sad.

The next day, God decided to have another go at making a human. This time, he thought for a minute after making the initial shape, and tried another shape. He rolled out a small stick of blutack, and stuck it between the Second Human's legs.

"Let it walk, and talk, and all that," said God, in a bored voice, and waved a hand at the Second Human.

The Second Human said,

"Why do I have voices in my head?"

God shrugged, and threw him a pair of black jeans, a grey top, and a pair of pink pants. The Second Human got dressed, and wandered off.

God shrugged, and went off to watch Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps.

The Second Human sat down on the rock recently vacated by the First Woman, and began to cry in manner of small child without teddy bear, for he felt alone and lost.

Soon, the First Woman came up to him, and asked,

"You alrigh'?"

"No," sobbed the Second Human, "I feel alone and lost."

"Oh." Said the First Woman. Then she added, "Do you want a hug?"

The Second Human nodded tearfully, so the First Woman hugged him. Then, she pulled away, looked him up and down, and scowled.

"Why is your face scrunched up?" asked the Second Human, curiously.

The First Woman shrugged, in manner of off-the-shoulder-cardigan.

"What's your name?" He tried again.

"Don't got one."

"Do you want one?"

"Why, you got one?"

"No, I dreamt it."

"Oh."

They sat there for a few minutes, before the First Woman drew a deep breath, and bellowed,

"GOD!!!"

The second Human's ears fell off.

"Sorry." Said the First Woman, and stuck them back on.

God appeared, and said, irritably,

"What do you want?"

"Clothes. He's got some, and I want some. And," her lips formed a pout, "can they be real? Not them plastic things?"

"Fine." Said God, and threw her a red corset, and a red skirt, and a pair of heavy black boots that made clompy noises. "Thanks," said the First Woman, and put on the clothes. Then she turned to the Second Human.

"What d'ya think, then?"

"It needs something else." Mused the Second Human, and turned to God. The Second Human whispered something in God's ear. God grinned, and nodded. Suddenly, a piece of wood appeared in the First Woman's hands.

"The 'ell's that?"

"This." God announced proudly, in manner of important person, "Is the first Electric Guitar. It is the most imressively loud instrument ever to be created."

The First Human looked at it.

"Hmm." She said, and played it. God and the Second Human clapped politely, in manner of clockwork monkeys with cymbals.

"You know, you're kind of sexy." Said the Second Human.

"Thanks." Said the First Woman, and kissed him. They tipped backwards, and made happy noises.

"Let this be called 'Doing the Fandango,'" said God, and wandered off to try and find himself some earplugs.

The End.


End file.
